Manny Rayner's book reviews

Philip Klass, a.k.a. William Tenn, died on the 10th of February at the age of 89, though for some reason The Guardian waited until today to publish his obituary. He was one of the most accomplished Golden Age SF satirists; if you haven't come across him, this collection is a good place to start.

I think my favourite is "Null-P". The story is set in a post-apocalyptic US: most of the country is still radioactive, and half the children being born have an extra head or some other interestingly non-standard feature. Society is coming apart, when a statistician at the Census Department makes a remarkable discovery. One of the people in his databank, a Mr. George Abnego, is absolutely normal! His height, weight, IQ, eyesight and hearing scores are precisely the national average, to several decimal places. The statistician is so struck by his discovery that he goes and runs further tests on Abnego. It's astonishing. No matter what they measure, he always comes out plumb in the middle of the bell curve.

Abnego becomes a national celebrity, and is soon running for President under the slogan "A Normal Man for a Normal World". He never says anything in his speeches but anodyne inanities, and is elected by a landslide. He goes on to serve another five terms, and the country rapidly follows his example. No more of this pursuit of excellence: we see what that led to. Instead, in every walk of life - job applications, academic preferment, beauty contests - the rules are changed so that the winner is the most average candidate. The story gives several anecdotes about the colourless Abnego. The one I liked best is when he goes to see a production of Romeo and Juliet. After the play's tragic end, he's heard to murmur to an aide: "Ah, better not to have loved at all than to have loved and lost!"

Abnego is succeeded by other completely average leaders, and the human race enters an era of moderate peace and comparative plenty which lasts a quarter of a million years, until it's displaced by a breed of intelligent dogs. The dogs keep the humans around for a while as pets because they're good at throwing sticks, but in the end some bright dog invents an automatic stick-throwing machine, and, except in the most rural backwaters, we finally disappear.

Obviously, this little fable is now completely past its sell-by, and has no possible relevance to the US of today.