Manny Rayner's book reviews

One of the hardest things about reviewing is that sometimes you find yourself writing what you believe you're supposed to feel, rather what what you actually do feel. This book is a good example. There's a central point in the later Brigade Mondaine series that I've been carefully skirting around in my reviews, because I couldn't bring myself to say publicly what I knew I felt in my heart. But I've decided to come clean. I don't think Géraldine was a good idea.

There! I've said it. I feel better already. I know, it just sounds so crazy. And don't misunderstand me, I love her character. Given the general nature of the series, who could possibly not love this adorably zany wise-cracking lesbian redhead? But... the very things that make me like her are also the problem. For example, it was extremely amusing when she and Boris were both interested in the same bisexual chick, and she won. The scene where the two of them made out was satisfactorily hot. The thing is... I don't know how to say this without coming across as an unreconstructed male chauvinist pig... the thing is that it was just wrong for her to upstage Boris like that.

Let me try an analogy. Suppose this were a Sherlock Holmes story. How would you feel if Conan Doyle added a new detective, as a regular member of the team, and had him, time and again, figure things out before Holmes did? And worse, if he gave him some quirky personal touches that started to make Holmes's violin and cocaine seem a little dull and passé? You'd be shocked, right? Because when you read a Sherlock Holmes story, you expect Holmes to star, and Watson to support, and everyone else to miss the point completely. This new detective would just screw everything up, and the better he was the worse you'd feel.

Well, that's where I am with Géraldine. I have nothing against her. I have nothing against hot lesbians, or women in general. Quite the opposite! It's just that she's muscling in on Boris's turf, and she shouldn't do that. The mere fact that I'm feeling sorry for Boris is more than I can bear. So, Géraldine, let me put this as nicely as I can. You're a terrific chick. You're so good that you can carry your own series, and attract a loyal fan base. Just hand in your resignation tomorrow, give Boris a big wet ambiguous kiss (you know you have feelings for him, you're not fooling anyone), and go out to show you can cut it on your own. It's the right thing to do, and you won't regret it. Just let the Brigade Mondaine series get back to what it used to be, and I'll buy their books and yours too. That's my best offer, and I hope you'll think seriously about it. And now I need a large pastis.