Manny Rayner's book reviews

- Hi Beatrice! Nice to see you again. And this must be Dante? Signor Alighieri, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Solomon. Welcome to the Heaven of the Sun. What do you think?

- It's, uh, neat. And I'm honoured to meet you, King Solomon -

- Call me Sol. No need for formality in the afterlife. So, let me introduce you to the Hosts of the Wise. I bet you'd get on with Boethius, and the Venerable Bede, and Al Einstein -

- Who?

- Oh, I'm sorry, I keep forgetting. After your time. A philosopher from the twentieth century -

- Who's the blessed soul over there?

- Ah, that's Bob Shaw. Also from the twentieth century. A science-fiction writer -

- I'm sorry?

- Hm, it's a bit difficult to explain, but it's a literary tradition that in a way grew out of your books. I mean, I know you haven't written them yet, but you will. It's rather complicated -

- What did he write?

- There's this book called The Palace of Eternity. A kind of romance. He explains that, when you die, you don't really die after all. Your spirit ascends into the heavens -

- Well, duh.

- I know, I know. But that's not all. You see, your spirit is really an electromagnetic field -

- A what?

- Oh dear. We should ask James Clark Maxwell to explain, he'll do it properly. He was here just a moment ago -

- Never mind. So my spirit is actually a - whatever it was. And then?

- You are just as inquisitive as Beatrice said, Signor Alighieri! Now Mr. Shaw tells us in his romance that the spirit, or the electromagnetic field, is not in fact immortal. It can be affected by -

- ALERT! INCOMING! INTERSTELLAR RAMSCOOP SPACESHIP SIGHTED AND CLOSING FAST!

- Excuse me, Signor Alighieri, we have an emergency. Bea, if you'd just grab hold of one of his wings, I'll take the other. We should be able to hide behind that solar prominence... okay, I think we're safe. Where was I?

- Mr. Shaw's romance?

- Yes, of course. He said that intense electromagnetic fields, like those caused by a certain kind of ... ah, winged chariot, like the one you just saw ... could destroy the soul.

- But... that's heresy! Whatever is he doing here?

- Um, to everyone's surprise, it turned out he was right. We'd all assumed he was headed for the other place - open and shut application of Deus v. Blish - but he had a good lawyer and won on appeal. Apparently it's all part of the Divine Plan.

- I ... ah ... are you sure?

- I'm afraid so. Tom Aquinas and Dick Feynman have been trying to figure it out. At least they say they're making progress. Hope to have a preliminary theory any eon now.

- I'm ... lost for words.

- I know just how you feel. Look, if you don't mind, could I ask you not to include this episode in the Paradiso? I mean, when you get around to writing it?

- Uh, well, of course ...

- Thanks. We appreciate it. Well, I'm sure you must be getting on. Mars is that way. And I look forward to seeing you again in 1321.

- What?

- Oops. Me and my big mouth. I never said that, okay? We're cool?

- Um ... right. Nice meeting you. Bye.

- Bye! And watch out for those ramscoop spacecraft. Godspeed!