Not quite as terrible as I first thought, but still pretty bad. To give you some idea of what it's like, here's one of the passages I most enjoyed. Belle Goose is talking to her father:
"So, Belle, what's new today?"
"Dad," I said, grasping his hands and looking directly into his eyes. "I'm in the deepest love that has ever occurred in the history of the world."
"Gosh, Belle. When someone asks you 'What's new?' the correct answer is 'Not much'. Besides, isn't it a little soon to cut yourself off from the rest of your peers, depending on a boyfriend to satisfy your social needs as opposed to making friends? Imagine what would happen if something forced that boy to leave! I'm imagining pages and pages would happen - with nothing but the names of the months on them."
"If Edwart ever left, I'd find some other monster to hang out with. You know I have no social skills," I said. "I guess I'm like my dad in that way." I wasn't usually this emotional with him, and it felt good.
Unfortunately, most of it isn't nearly as subtle and clever as that.