I just have to share with you a few paragraphs from Private Eye's review, which I read earlier this afternoon:
So who is Peter Andre exactly, and does it matter?
He is a pop star, whose hits you have never knowingly heard and might struggle to hum if you had. He is a reality TV star, whose shows you have never watched, except by mistake or as part of a strict regime of torture. He is in the papers every day, for made up stories of his doings and beings have replaced real events as the redtops' idea of what constitutes "news". Young women appear to want his babies. A youngish woman with inflatable breasts already has his babies, but no longer wants him.
This, then, is not just his story - we want more than that for £8.49 (in Tesco) - but his whole world.
Andre was born in Harrow in Middlesex, the youngest of six children. "When my parents told me that we were moving to the other side of the world... I was gutted." He's not an Aussie, he's "a Brit through and through". At school in Queensland he was badly bullied. "One time I was tied to a fence while a bunch of kids took it in turns throw stones, aiming them at my head."
I never realised that it was the Queenslanders' fault... suddenly, I have a much better understanding of the low opinion they enjoy with my Australian friends. What's wrong with them? In particular, why can't they throw more accurately?