- Now, I'd like to welcome our next guest, Signor Cherubino from The Marriage of Figaro
. He's just published his memoirs - or "Confessions", as he likes to call them, ha ha - and he'll be telling us more about that in a moment. I hope you'll all join me in welcoming him to our programme.[Applause]
- Good evening, Signor Cherubino. How are you enjoying your visit to the 21st century?
- Scusi, non parlo inglese.
- Oh dear. I should have thought of that. Français?
- Ah, is there anyone who could help us... yes, the gentleman in the front row... M. Donville, is that correct? You could interpret for us?
- Ouah, oui
, I will try of my best, yes.
- Thank you. Merci beaucoup.
Now, Signor Cherubino, maybe you could tell us a little about yourself?
- Non so più cosa son, cosa faccio,
or di foco, ora sono di ghiaccio,
ogni donna cangiar di colore,
ogni donna mi fa palpitar.
Solo ai nomi d'amor, di diletto,
mi si turba, mi s'altera il petto
e a parlare mi sforza d'amore
un desio ch'io non posso spiegar -
- I'm sorry, I'm really not sure I got all that. M. Donville?
- Ah, he say he like women very much, their soft forms, their nice smells, the froufroument
of their underwear of lace, and particularly he like to give women how you say, la fessée
, le spanking on their -
- M. Donville, excuse me for interrupting, but are you quite sure you are translating this correctly?
- Oui, bien sûr monsieur
, why you ask?
- Well, ah, never mind. Signor Cherubino, back to you. How did you get the idea for this book?
- Voi che sapete
che cosa è amor,
s'io l'ho nel cor.
Quello ch'io provo
è per me nuovo,
capir nol so.
Sento un affetto
pien di desir,
ch'ora è diletto,
ch'ora è martir -
- M. Donville?
- He say he like older women, women who know l'amour
, he seduce the amie intime
of his maman
, they have une relation sapphique, vous comprenez? Alors
, he seduce her, he give her le plaisir oral
, then after she say, you should write of your expériences
, then -
- M. Donville, I'm afraid I'll really have to cut you off there. Thank you very much, no, I'm sorry, we're completely out of time, thank you again, merci
, yes, these gentlemen will help you find the way out.
Now, our next guest...