Blog entry. Contacted by someone called Graham Parke. He wants me to review his book, No Hope For Gomez
. Reply to say why not, but tell him he'll get an extra star if it's hand-delivered by an attractive woman in a Versace frock. Point him to my page on this subject
. Feel I should do some work. Go to Bugzilla and look down buglist. Mark bug as duplicate of other bug.
Blog entry. Reply from Graham Parke. He says none of the attractive women in his employment will wear anything but jeans and wet t-shirts. Since we're clearly unable to agree, it will be delivered by a heavyset Royal Mail lesbian. I suggest compromising on a tight, low-necked sweater, but get no further reply. Go to Bugzilla again. Change ownership of bug, then mark it as WONTFIX.
Blog entry. Off to France to visit research colleague. Eat dinner with my hosts. On waking up next morning, discover that both ankles are covered in mosquito bites. Wonder why just the ankles.
Blog entry. Have to spend most of the day working. While my colleague is making a cup of tea, sneak off and post a review. She pretends not to notice.
Blog entry. Arrive home. No Hope For Gomez
is lying on the hall table. Try to think of some way to ask my wife whether it was hand-delivered by a scantily-dressed young woman. Out of ideas. Maybe something will occur to me later.
Blog entry. Start reading No Hope For Gomez
. It reminds me slightly of Kafka. Post an update to say so. Worried that this may sound pretentious, so add that maybe it doesn't. Hope this will sound more balanced. Feel I should do some work. Go to Bugzilla and open bug for colleague. Tell him it's urgent.
Blog entry. Get to the part with the hot lady scientist. Think of hot lady scientists I know. Find she has big tits. Try to think if any of the ones I know have big tits. Can't immediately come up with a name. For some reason this makes me uneasy. Go to Bugzilla and open colleague's bug. Remind him it's very urgent.
Blog entry. Finish No Hope For Gomez
. Don't know what to put in review. Decide to explain background, will write review later. Go to Bugzilla and tell colleague that second bug is in fact more urgent than first one. Signing off for now.
Blog entry. Every hot, big-titted lady scientist I know has indignantly written to me asking for an explanation. Decide to change name and move to Mexico. Will do so as soon as I've thought of a good name.