Manny Rayner's book reviews

Winnie the Pooh and the Cocktail Party

"Hi. I'm Vikki. Sorry, what did you say your name was? So noisy in here you can't hear a thing. Ed. Got it. Nice to meet you, Ed! What? Oh, I'm a model. Glamor. Thanks! Well, if you've walked past the men's magazine section this week, then you will have. Front cover of Loaded. Really? Hey, that's sweet. No, I mean it. You're really nice. Oh, alright then. Would you believe it, stockings and a honey-pot. That was it. Yes, I do actually. Love it. Have it for breakfast every morning. Guess that's why the shot came out so well. Me and a honey-pot... I didn't even notice the camera. I know, it sounds silly. Yes, the runny kind, that's my favorite too. Get out! Really? OK, OK, let's hear your honey story. Sorry? You actually climbed up the tree to get it? That's awesome. OMG. What, how high were you? Jesus Christ. You didn't break anything? You know, you're a lot tougher than you look. I love the way you said that. Can't stand these macho types. Oh, go on, tell me another one. OK... OK... a what trap? A Hefner lump? Sorry, just too noisy. Never mind, what happened next? Hey, I do that too! I know, once you've started you just can't stop. You're the first person I've ever met who understands. You what?? You actually got your head stuck in it?! Ha! Oh, you are totally cracking me up, I love this story! Ha! Ha! I'm sorry about your friend though, I hope he recovered. It's funny, I just feel so relaxed with you. It's like I've known you for ages. Since I was a little girl in fact. Oh, I see everyone's starting to leave. Look, I know this sounds crazy, like we've only just met and I'll probably regret it in the morning, but come home with me. Um, well, yes and no. I just... I just want to hold you. All night. You do? You really do understand? Ed, I can't believe this. It feels like fate. I'm so happy I met you. OK, let me get my coat. We're outta here."

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If you want to examine the magazine cover which inspired the review, note that, as the review suggests, it's in dubious taste, and features a mostly naked woman. If that kind of thing offends you, don't look at it! Otherwise, it's at http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00771/Loaded181-April_180_771021a.jpg