The rather depressing ending of
Belle du Seigneur suddenly reminded me of the title story in this collection, a cute 60s variant on the Three Wishes scenario. The guy is sitting at home one evening, when a genie appears, and says that he can have three wishes.
Well, there's got to be a catch? says the guy. And indeed there is, says the genie. He can get anything he wants, but his worst enemy is going to get twice as much.
And who is my worst enemy? wonders the guy. The genie tells him. But he's my best friend! says the guy, shocked. Ah well, says the genie, you'd be surprised how often that happens.
So the guy thinks and thinks, and then he says, screw this, I want a hundred thousand dollars. The genie gives it to him in a nice leather attaché case. But then the phone rings, and it's the damn best friend, crowing about how he's just miraculously received two hundred thousand dollars. Shit! He's going to have to do better with his next wish.
So he thinks some more, and finally he says, I want a quarter of a ton of chopped liver. Ha! he says to himself, wonder what my friend will do with half a ton of chopped liver! But the next day he discovers, mortified, that the friend has quick-wittedly called a kosher restaurant, sold them the whole consignment, and made a tidy profit. He's just carried his own quarter-ton down to the dumpster. He feels even stupider.
Now he's down to his last wish, and he thinks, jeez, I'd better not blow this one. But suddenly he has an idea. OK, he says to the genie, I've been single too long. I want a girl, I'd like her to be beautiful, but not too beautiful, smart, but not too smart, stacked, of course, and, hm, I don't quite know how to put this, but sexually I'd like her to be the
most, the absolute
most that I can handle. Got that?
The genie nods, and a moment later there's a light, somehow
sensual tap on the door. Our hero gets up to open it, thinking, twice the most you can handle. Good luck!